fantau:

ifeellikesmeg:

eversolewd:

yumantimatter:

mistbornthefinal:

speakertoyesterday:

identicaltomyself:

yieldsfalsehoodwhenquined:

another-normal-anomaly:

regexkind:

argumate:

invertedporcupine:

koito-yuu:

yumantimatter:

jaiwithinnumerableunblinkingeyes:

tommyeatseaton:

sufficientlylargen:

Every time I see a post about updog I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help the poster complete their joke.

okay but what’s updog ?

Updog is a long sausage in a bun often served with ketchup, mustard, onion e, and/or relish.

No, that’s a hotdog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released

You’re thinking of update. Updog is when you end a sentence with a rising intonation.

No, that’s uptalk.  You’re thinking of the fourth-largest city in Sweden.

surely that’s Uppsala, whereas Updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs

You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

no that’s an updraft

updog isn’t a noun at all, it’s a verb; it basically means to chew someone out, or harshly lecture them

No, that’s upbraid. An updog is a small dog that likes cuddling on people’s laps.

No that’s a puppydog. An updog is when the Mets win.

No that’s an upset. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

What’s a henway?

Oh, about 5 pounds.

GOTTEM

@kaethemonster

theatrejew:

writing-prompt-s:

You wake up as an orc and see two more orcs looking down at you. One of them says: ’ finally, you’ve woken up from your coma’.

“Hey,” says Dave. “While you were asleep we started this thing where we dress up as orcs every other Tuesday. We wanted to make sure you didn’t feel left out.”

You pause. With a scratchy throat and dry mouth that hasn’t seen water nor speech in months, you say: “Dave, man, what the fuck?”

my name’s chaka’oof’ka and my dad knows God

citizenshipandsocialjustice:

backgroundnewsies:

prsephonies:

im not INTERESTED anymore in seeing men’s perception of what female leisure time looks like, how we lounge around hairless and small and beautiful on our beds and couches in oversized shirts and lace underwear, unaware and unassuming and all the more beautiful for not Trying to be beautiful, i’m TIRED of it. even our most basic freedom of privacy, time alone with the self, has been butchered and ripped from us by the gaze of male photographers and artists

men’s perception of women lounging:

women actually lounging

despazito:

*old man voice* back in my day tik tok was a ke$ha song

girl-in-the-hitops:

striders:

Hey is the build a bear employee supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed

as a build-a-bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the fuck we want during a heart ceremony. jump to get that heart beating. rub that heart to your knees so your furry friend always needs you. rub it to your toes so it’s totally awesome! shake it up so it’s got enough energy to hang out with you all day! close your eyes, make a wish, and give it a kiss you helpless motherfucker